Pensive

Dude. I took a much need nap this afternoon. Completely zonked out, sprawled across my bed for a solid 2 hours. It was wonderful. But yeah, when I woke and was doing some reading for class, I remembered somewhat of what I had said in my intro to my Substance Abuse class... it brought to mind once again how God has truly been guiding my life to where I am now. I haven't always seen, or probably just haven't paid attention, to how much I am blessed to be alive. Starting from before I was born, when I was just conceived, God's hand was there preserving my life. Throughout my childhood, when I would do crazy, wild things or just events I would be invovled in that could have totally splattered me like a bug on the windshield, I somehow survived. And now, only when I had finally come to the realization that I am not in control of my life, and my life is not my own.. have my eyes truly been opened. I am here at St. George's because God has been so merciful to me to bring me to this point in my life. He has guided, ordained, opened and closed doors so that I could be here. I am so thankful. Words truly cannot express the debt I, and all His children, owe to Him for every breath we take. Sometimes I try to look to what my future may be, and I get all freaked out and worried, but you know, it really isn't in my hands. I am in His hands. I am so happy, just conveying the thoughts I've had into this "concrete" form and putting into words gives me a strange exhaultation. I am so free... Ready to run out and spin like crazy, arms outstretched and just laugh with sheer delight...