I rearranged my room. Because I was bored. Because I wanted more space to work out. Because I wanted some change. And now I love it. I have some plants on my windowsill. I should buy more flowers. They make me happy :)

I found more bruises. Big ones. Sheesh.

Bruised

So I have these random bruises that have cropped up in the past day or two. I'm assuming they must be from when I assailed that fence, but I don't remember it being that physically traumatic. I have a fairly impressive one that runs medially along my left calf and spans just over 5.5 inches. Several others over my ribs, triceps, palms, and along where the adductors and gracilas are situated...

A depressing fact to note..

"The 2010 Main Residency Match was the largest in NRMP history, encompassing more than 37,000 applicants, 4,100 graduate medical education programs, and 25,500 residency training positions."

This seems to imply that over 10,000 applicants for this year's match failed to match. Of course this probably includes the ones who "pre-matched", e.g. signed outside the match, but even so, that's a really sobering number who did not match. I know several people who didn't and thankfully some of them were able to scramble into open spots, but others have not yet been so fortunate. I'm thankful that most of my interests are non-competitive so I have some resemblance of a chance of getting a field I'll enjoy, but still...

Barbed Wire

I knew I should have worn jeans to go into town. But I figured I'd just be making a short jaunt to the school office to drop off a form and deposit, so why bother changing?

I decided to go exploring on my way home and took a path I hadn't tried before that ran between the cemetery and train tracks. As I was walking down the path I saw a group of teenagers, 4 boys and a girl, poking at something on the other side of the barbed wire fence that ran alongside the railroad tracks. As I approached, one of the boys said something to me but I had my earbuds in so I couldn't didn't catch what was said, but I gathered from the sight of the soccer ball on the other side that he had asked something about how to get it back over or something. Here's me thinking, dude, there's 4 of you guys.. in jeans no less.. and you're asking me, a girl in khaki slacks for help? Any way, when I asked why they didn't just jump the fence and get it, they kept saying, but it's barbed wire... um... so? It wasn't like it was a rusted over tangled mass of tetanus breeders, but rather a vinyl coated chain linked fence with 3 lines of green painted barbed wire. Seriously? And these weren't like boys dressed in their prep school finest, but they looked like they wanted to be the punky cool kids with low riding jeans, converse shoes, and spiked hair. Lame. My roommate said English boys were pansies. Guess so.

I took off my backpack and climbed the fence. On my way over, my khackis caught on the barbed wire and there was a nice rip right over my knee. Great. But without further difficulties, I went over, tossed back the ball, and after tossing over my shoes...with some help from the boys holding back the wire, I climbed back. I got many thanks, but I can't say I really actually even looked at them and made eye contact with more than maybe that first boy who had asked me for help. Maybe it was cuz I didn't want to feel like I was showing off, because I know I have the tendency to enjoy proving myself to challenges. Or maybe it's because I didn't want them to feel bad to have a girl throw them back their ball, when they were too much of a wuss to get it themselves.

We parted ways and after walking a bit, I looked down to check out the damage to my pants only to see a dark spreading stain above it. Huh. I took a peek, and yup, low and behold a gorgeous 2 inch gash that was happily oozing away. I hadn't felt it. It didn't hurt. I had some pocket tissues and tried to blot and stop it, but it just kept a going, so I figured I may as well just keep walking home. By the time I got home, the entire area was soaked in blood.

So it would seem I paid the price for being nice and all tough girl idiocy. I tore up my one pair of khaki work slacks and am left with only one pair of work slacks. I have a beautiful gash above my knee. Slight rush from finally doing something active and out of the ordinary. And I need to go shopping now. Lame. I shouldn't have chased the goose. Or maybe just say no. I should have just worn jeans.

Can't help but love her

I had a patient today that almost made me ache to do Peds. She was maybe 7 years old with a history of hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy and late diagnosed subdural hematomoa resulting in cerebral palsy. She also had some speech impairment and developmental delay. But what was so remarkable about her wasn't her disability, but rather despite her disability, the pure and simple cheer and joy that radiated from her. She was so funny, cheeky, and sweet that my lips and cheeks were sore from the smile I that couldn't help but respond with. We asked if she was always so cheerful and chatty, and her parents laughed an affirmative. She lit the room and her charm was irresistible. I felt myself almost jealous of her innocent and effortless charisma. I couldn't help but think that despite how difficult it must be to raise a disabled child, her parents were amazingly blessed. I hadn't been so purely delighted in a long time. Simply put, she was awesome.

She was beautiful.

I lost my first baby today.

No one understands or can explain why. How could it all go wrong, without an inkling of a warning? The baby was perfectly healthy, no antenatal issues. The obstetricians are at a loss, the pediatricians are at a loss. We did full on resuscitation measures, and kept a flicker of hope that somehow it would be enough. It was an extremely intense situation and such a horrible outcome that all the adrenaline just leaves a hole in you. I have this feeling, right below my sternum...

I don't think it's hit me yet.

International Relations

So this past Tuesday I went to the Emirates Stadium, home of the Arsenal football team, in London for an international friendly match between Brazil and Republic of Ireland. To be honest, this isn’t something I would usually shell out money for, esp not 42GBP since I’m much more into the actual playing of the sport than the watching. But since I was kind of put on the spot to make the decision, I went with an affirmative. It was definitely a fun game and I’d say a good time. I went with my roommates, Clayton and Lua, who are both big football fans. We had great seats in the first row of the upper tier and had great vantage view of the field. Lua and Clayton cheered for Brazil with their Brazilian flags and I cheered for Ireland. I mean, I knew Brazil was the better team, but I like Ireland :) Anywho, we were sitting in a predominately Irish fan crowd, though they were way outnumbered by the number of Brazilian fans. It was a good game, even though the fate of the game could easily have been guessed prior to the ball drop. Ireland clearly dominated the first half of the game and Brazil only scored off a lucky shot 2 minutes before half time. Sadly, after that, the second half seemed almost like a joke. Ireland seemed to lose all will to live and Brazil pretty much played Keep-Away from the boys in green. I think the Irish fans though were the most amusing with their accents and caustic, rowdy comments. Provided much amusement throughout.